My Life Story
by Diablo-2-Freak
Summary: A Story about a person who is shrouded in mystery. He tells his tale to somone in particular PLEASE R&R!!!!!
1. Introduction

Disclaimer... Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah I don't own Diablo 2 *If I did I would be paying someone else to write the damn story :) *  
  
Now this story is sort of an experiment and I'm going to see how people react to it. If they like it, I continue, if they don't, I stop and cry into my hands and scream out: "WHY! WHY! WHY DO THEY HATE MY STORY!!!" :) (Just kidding... What? You really think I am a psychopath? WHY! WHY! WHY DO THEY HATE ME???"  
  
  
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"Hello, my name is... well I don't know what my name is... All I know is that I was put on this Earth to defeat the Prime Evils and... Wait something is happening..."  
A cheerful music fills the air  
"Oh my Tyreal... ITS THE ICE-CREAM VAN!!!"  
  
After several moments the mysterious wonderer had sat back in his original position beside the fire in front of me. He took a deep breath, licked his icy-pole and then stared into my eyes.  
"So... You have come to hear my life story have you?" he asked intently.  
"Well erm... I actually came here to sample the food in this area..." I nervously said.  
The man almost fell over in shock and I quickly replied by saying "But while I am here I might as well hear your tale." I said hoping he wouldn't retaliate with violence. I thought he may because those damn icy-poles can make people act funny. Real funny...  
  
The Man lent back and fell off his log. After scrambling back onto it he closed his eyes as if in deep thought. Then suddenly the air around my companion and myself began to shimmer. It was eerie and as I began to fear for my life I felt the warmth that informed me that I had wet my pants in fear. "You fool!" The man said. "It is but a flashback we are experiencing. A flashback of my life..."  
"Oh... Is that all?" I said sarcastically. He did not pick up on the sarcasm, which may have been lucky for me.  
  
As the surrounding area became more distorted I began to see dark shapes surrounding me that seemed to slip in and out of reality. My vision became instantly black and I saw no more...  
  
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So, Whadda you think? I think that this story has a lot of potential! No you idiot not you I'm talking to the Fanfiction.net readers. Well soooooory! Sorry bout that folks, that is my split personality there and he is the one that comes up with all the zany stuff such as the ice-cream van. I was going to make this serious but he just won't let me... ARRRRRG he's taking over my head... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  
  
A/N:Just before you call medical services on me I would just like to explain this to the thickheaded... I am not insane, I am a perfectly normal person (Not) and do not have multiple personalities. He's lying! He's got me trapped up here HELP MEEEE!!!!. Shhhhh SHUT UP!!!! ;) 


	2. The tale begins

I didn't get any reviews for my first chapter but I don't care. I am writing the next chapter now in hope that someone will see it and review!  
  
A/N This chap may seem a little weird but remember I am typing this really late at night to see if my writing gets better/worse in the wee hours of the morning!  
  
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" 'Twas a long time ago that I remember... I was a boy, a young boy, a boy... Did I mention that I was a boy? Well, now that we have that matter strait we can continue..."  
  
"I was a boy... Wait done that... I lived with my parents in a log cabin and had a happy life..."  
  
The scene comes into focus and a log cabin is revealed. There are people inside they appear to be happy. When suddenly A HUGE HULKING BEAST APPEARED OUT OF THIN AIR AND ATE THE LOT OF THEM INCLUDING THE CABIN!!! Wait, wait, sorry bout that... Wrong fanfic material... They appeared to be happy. They had good reason to be too. They had a son who was about to become of age. The coming of age represented when a boy became a man. This ceremony took place on the twelfth of every month and every boy in the village who had turned twelve would go to it. This coming of age was a time for celebration. The boy, now man would find a job and start to get ready to raise a family of his own. It also meant he had his freedom, he had control of his life...  
  
"Honey, honey, wake up!" His foster mother said as she shook the sleeping child. "It's the coming of age ceremony today!"  
"Ahhhhhh." He groaned. Why did he have to get up so early? "Wazzamatter?" He said, still somewhat confused due to recently waking up. He began to stand up but him being so accident prone (you will find more out about this later in the story) he tripped on seemingly nothing falling face-first onto the floor breaking, not just his nose, but his leg which was twisted at an odd angle still in the sheets.  
  
Later on that day at the ceremony all the boys who had turned twelve that month (which totalled 15) were lined up to receive the acknowledgement that they were finally men. The one with the unknown name and the broken leg stood within the line. He shall be referred to as Will for the story's purpose. When his turn finally came the priest walked up in front of him and began to recite the vows that would complete the ceremony. "Omun toe loosa mun jah doo wun cun..."Chanted the priest.  
  
Later that day Will was at home sleeping after a stressful day. He dreamt of a holy-like being of the like he had never saw before in dream or reality. "What the fuck are you?" He asked the strange creature.  
The creature fell from the sky and hit the ground hard. The creature had obviously fallen from shock.  
"You do not know who I am?" It inquired.  
"No actually I don't" He replied.  
If the creature actually had a visible face it surly would have been contorted into a look so fearful it would have send Diablo himself running back to deepest depths of hell screaming for his mother.  
"I am the almighty archangel Tyrael!"  
"Nope, sorry doesn't ring any bells." He had a look of deep thought on his face as if he was trying to remember who Tyrael was. "Nope still can't remember." He grins sheepishly  
"Arrrrrrg, if I wasn't one of the angles of heaven and I was a demon I would have had you dismembered a long dime ago!"  
"Well, that's damn lucky for me aint it!" He replied a little too cockily.  
"I have been sent to you in your dream is because it is your destiny to save the world from the three prime evils." He informed Will.  
"Whoa, dude, hold on a second. You mean to say that me, a twelve year old can take on three fully-grown demons and come out victorious? I mean, I couldn't stand a chance against a single REGULAR demon for crying out-loud!"  
To which Tyrael replied. "Well, you see, ummm, ahhh, I gotta go. Erm, important heaven business gotta go bye! Do what I command you or you will end up going to hell."  
"Ohh whoa, what a big and hard decision to make!" he called out sarcastically.  
  
He suddenly woke...  
  
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So... How did you like that? Please review or NO MORE CHAPTERS GOT IT? Good... 


	3. The Journy Starts

Welcome back faithful readers/reviewers. Because I had gotten reviews I am happy, and as I said I will write more chapters. And without further ado (is that how you spell it?) I give you the third chapter of My Life Story!!!  
  
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"Whoa, what a really weird dream..." Will murmured as his vision cleared. "Either I was really stoned last night or I have a destiny to accomplish!"  
  
Later that day, after Will had feasted on an extremely large portion of food cooked by his mother for her "Little Darling" Will decided he would go and see the local town sage; Deckund Carne.  
  
"Hi Deckund Carne!" said Will happily.  
"Greetings William, what can I do for you today?"  
"Well, some angel called Tirial came to me in my dream and blackmailed me into destroying the three Prime Evils." he replied in a monotone voice.  
"Do you speak of the Angel Tyreal?" he inquired.  
"Yeah yeah yeah, that's the one!"  
"Well it seems that to me, the last remaining Horadram, that you must go and destroy the three Prime Evils." he informed.  
"Ummmm... I just said that I was blackmailed into doing that."  
"You must now go to the blacksmiths Gruzwald and Farsi to get some equipment for your long journey ahead to the Rogue Encampment." he said ignoring Will.  
"Yeah sure, I'm going..."  
  
Will trudged off to find Gruzwald and Farsi to get some of his equipment. Little did he know that he was about to run into some serious trouble...  
  
"... what the hell do you mean? I need to pay?" screamed a furious Will.  
"Well of corse ya gotta pay for all your equipment!!!" yelled Gruzwald.  
"Fine." he sighed. "Here take my money you greedy basterd."  
Will trudged off to Farsi to pick up his equipment.  
"Good day, I'm Farsi. It seems like you want to pick up your equipment right?"  
"Yeah." He replied.  
Will picked up his equipment; a buckler, a few throwing knifes, a long sword and a bow. Just before he left Deckund Carne taught him a special magical technique allowing him to carry two weapon sets and switch between the two whenever he wanted. After thanking Deckund Carne and saying goodbye to his family and friends and all the other people in the village he left.  
  
"Here we go, off on an adventure that I don't have a hope of completing." he sighed  
  
  
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YAY!!! There's another chapter down! Hope you all liked!!! Now remember, no reviews = no more chapters. Mwhahahahahahaha!!!!! 


	4. An unlikley Friend

Welcome back! I am so happy that people like my story! :) But the thing is only a few people have reviewed... Is it just me or has fanfiction.net been becoming less and less popular? ahh well. I don't give a shit if at least a couple of people read my story. Its better than showing it to my friends and them laughing at me. By the way, Will's hometown is not Tristram I am merely making fun of the Tristram and Rogue Encampment characters. I haven't played Diablo 1 but I'm thinking about incorporating books that teach skills that Will will buy during his adventure from Akara or maybe find on the ground.  
  
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Will sighed. He had been tracking through this damn forest for days. He needed rest badly as he had fought many demons and corrupted animals such as quill rats brutes and carnies (you know, circus folk. I had to say this in case there were people who lived in a box that happened to have a computer with internet access was reading this). He pulled back on his bow and let the arrow fly, it imbedded itself into the skull of a Fallen, it screamed as it died.  
  
"Damnit, when will I get to this Rogue Encampment place?" he asked himself as he stretched his weary arms.  
  
As the day progressed on and Will found himself wading into an ever-thickening demon area as he made his way east. Suddenly he saw a pack of demons surrounding a figure that was valiantly fighting them off.  
  
"I'll help you!" he yelled.  
"Thanks!"he grunted in reply.  
The man was wearing some sort of armour that Will had never seen before. He also wielded a spear. In a few minutes all the demons lay dead at their feet. "I again thank you for your assistance, now I must take my leave." the figure said.  
"But, but, I don't know your name or who you are." said Will.  
"I am a Necromancer and that is all you need to know."  
"WOW COOL! A Necromancer! Hey, wanna be my friend and come on a journey with me?" said the enthusiastic youngster.  
"No, us Necromancers stay by ourselves and the only things we have around are our summons." he replied.  
"Cool, I've never seen Necromancer summons before! Can you show me some?"  
"No" The Necromancer said  
"Please?"  
"NO"  
"Hahahaha, I bet you can't even raise stuff!" Will taunted.  
"Well, well, I... Why you little pipsqueak!!!" The Necromancer roared.  
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Will yelled.  
  
This event led to the Necromancer chasing Will all the way to the Rouge Encampment.  
  
"There you have reached your destination now leave me in peace!" said the Necromancer.  
"No I haven't this is the Rouge Encampment, I need to go to the Rogue Encampment!" he stated.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM GONNA KILL YOU!"  
"AHHHHHHH!"  
  
Eventually the two unlikely friends had reached the Rogue Encampment (they had become friends along the way).  
  
"Lets explore the Encampment." said Will  
"Why not."  
  
The two split up and began to look around the Rogue Encampment. Will headed over in the direction of Kashaya and Ukudo went over to Gheed (The Necromancer revealed his name as Ukudo on their travels).  
  
"Ooh a Necromancer. I hoped I'd never have to lay my eyes on your ki..." Gheed began. He had been knocked out by a very pissed of Ukudo. "Now, now, now. Lets see why my little friend Gheed has for me. Oh goody some wands, now I'll just put those in my pocket and have a look at them later."  
  
"Halt, who are you stranger." said a very uptight Rogue (Kashaya).  
"I have been sent here by this angel dude to get rid of some Demon dudes." Will replied.  
"Do you mean to say that Tyreal sent you to get rid of the three Prime Evils?" she asked.  
"Yup that's them."  
"Well hero, it will take more that killing a few monsters out in the wilderness to gain my trust."  
"Ummmm, we weren't talking about monsters in the wilderness, I was talking about the three Prime Evils!!!" he said. But again he was ignored (this seems to happen a lot).  
"You should go and see Akara for your first quest." Kashaya informed him.  
"Ok."  
  
As Will looked around for Akara he saw a woman of immense stature. "I wonder if that could be Akara..." he wondered. "Excuse me, are you Akara?"  
The woman laughed. "No good sir, I am Charsi the blacksmith here."  
"Charsi?" he muttered. "That's really strange. At home we have a blacksmith named Farsi."  
She shrugged. "Coincidence. Akara's tent is over there and if you need to buy or repair weapons and armour come here!"  
  
As he walked over to Akara's tent he saw Ukudo strolling around with a huge grin on his face. "What have you been up to Ukudo?" he inquired.  
"Nothin' much." Ukudo replied.  
"C'mon I know you've been up to something when you have that look on your face..."  
"Ok, what happened is that the weird guy Gheed insulted me and my fellow Necromancers so I knocked him out and well, he had some really cool looking wands and I just well errr... Borrowed 'em." he said sheepishly.  
"Ukudo, put them back now, it's dishonest to steal things."  
"I'm a Necromancer, I'm the very image of dishonesty. Anyway Gheed's a rat and deserved to have things stolen from him!" he said hotly.  
"Weeeeeeeeell in that case... Hehe. I better see if there is anything worth err... Borrowing!"  
"That's the sprit!" exclaimed Ukudo  
  
After 'borrowing' equipment from Gheed they found Akara's tent. She greeted them and told them about how they had to cleans the Den of Evil of all the monsters inside. Will was very quick to accept the mission. Before they went Will asked Akara a question.  
  
  
"Akara?" he asked  
"Yes my child?" she replied.  
"I have this really good armour and scimitar I err... found. But I don't know what they do. Can you help me?"  
"Certainly, what you need are some scrolls of identify. I shall get some for you free of charge, I will also provide you with a scroll of town portal."  
"I need to identify the wands I found too!" piped in Ukudo.  
  
After identifying their items which were as follows; for Will; 'hard leather armour of equilibrium' (faster hit recovery) and 'deadly scimitar of vileness' (enhanced damage and poison damage). And the wands that Ukudo 'found' were; 'yew want of the apperentus' (faster cast rate and +2 to teeth and +1 to bone armour) and 'grim wand of sorcery' (more mana and +3 to raise skeleton and +2 to skeleton mastery) the two heroes set off to do their quest.  
  
"MWHAHAHAHAHA!!! I NOW AM THE MOST POWERFUL NECROMANCER ALIVE!!!" he said as he summoned his bone armour around him. As they went towards the Den of Evil he summoned three skeletons and if he tried to summon more one of his other skeletons would fall to pieces and die.  
  
The heroes reached the den of evil and went inside. Will was weary of all movement in the cave. Ukudo was still laughing like a maniac so Will poked Ukudo with one of his throwing knives that made him shut up. The heroes reached a band of fallen with a shaman wearing a grass skirt and holding a gnarled staff. "Ok, Ukudo you and your skeletons take out the fallen and I'll take out the shaman ok?" whispered Will.  
"Hey Will? Why are you talking so softly for?" he said loudly. He then noticed that the fallen had heard him and they started rushing up to him. "Ohhhhhhh now I get it!"  
"Shut up you fool and attack!" screamed Will. The Heroes rushed the enemies head on with Will and the lead and Ukudo and his skeletons following right behind. With Will being as accident prone as he is he tripped over a patch of damp dirt and fell face first into a cluster of rocks. Ukudo was oblivious to this but because of that he tripped over Will and fell. Because the skeletons are psychically linked to Ukudo they too fell over, their frail bodies smashing as they fell. "NOOOOOOOO!!! NOT MY LOVELY SKELETONS! YOU, SHAL, PAY DEMONS!!!" In his rage he started firing teeth everywhere decimating the entire area. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I HAVE AVENGED MY FALLEN COMRADS!!! I..." he had been stabbed with a sedative needle that Will had carried ever since he had met Ukudo. "Ahah! I knew that would come in handy! Now I get all this loot to myself." cried Will. He then collected all he could carry and then put it in a sac for him to collect later.  
  
After clearing the den of all the monsters he made his way back to Ukudo who has still unconscious. Will picked up his sac and cast a town portal. He threw the sac which was followed by Ukudo and then Will stepped threw the portal. Without doing anything about his comrade or sac of stuff he walked off to his tent for a well-deserved rest.  
  
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FINITO!!! Another chapter done and the first quest too. This is a bloody long chapter and you should just feel lucky that I've taken the time to write! Now that I've put all this hard work into it Click on the Review button and REVIEW!!!!!! :) 


	5. I'll Kill that son of a bi...

HI AGAIN ALL!!!!! I know, I know, it's been a long time since I've updated... Oh well if you want to know what happened the excuse in at the start of chap 12 of New Heroes. Go read it after you've read AND REVIEWED this story. Now enough with the delaying and on with the story!!!!!!  
  
  
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"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! That was a great sleep," Will said to himself as he stretched and walked outside. "Wonder what's for breakfast..." He noticed that Ukudo and his sack of stuff were still lying there. "Oops, I think that sedative was a little on the strong side... Well how the hell was I supposed to know it was only for use on elephants!!!" he said to no one in particular.  
  
After sorting through and selling the contents of his sack he then tried to wake up Ukudo. "Ukudo, Ukudo, wake up buddy, we've got stuff to do." Ukudo groans and rolls over. "All right that's it! I'm gonna find a way to wake you up EVEN IF IT KILLS ME! Well, erm, I'll try to wake you up but not go as far as killing myself..." Will went over to Akara to see if she had anything to offer him. "Akara, I was wondering if you had anything worthwhile to sell to me."  
"Well yes child, I do have something for you. A caravan passed bye a few days before the problems at the Rogue Monastery. They sold me some strange books that teach you magical abilities. Maybe you might like to buy some?" she stated.  
"Would I ever!" said Will excitedly.  
"All right, I have a few books here. This one teaches you how to shoot a web of lightning from your fingertips in a sort of electrical field."  
"Yeah, that one sounds cool! I'll take it!" he stated.  
"Very well here you go." Will payed for the book and took it. He then look up at Akara and said,  
"Ummmm, I don't want to trouble you but, I can't read!" Upon hearing this Akara fell over in shock.  
"Well if you can't read it then, take it and shove it up your arse." she said sarcastically. Will did not notice the sarcasm.  
"OWWWWWW! IT HURTS!!! IT HUUUUUUUUUUUUURTS!!!!!!!" he screamed.  
"Oh you stupid fool. I was being sarcastic!" suddenly lightning began to shoot from Will's fingers.  
"Yay! I learnt it!" Will cried. Akara was speechless.  
  
Will started to dance around the Rogue Encampment shooting lightning in the air. As he danced around he noticed Gheed counting his gold for the 5554th time that day. Will grinned mischievously as he came up with his master plan...  
"Hi Gheed!" said Will.  
"Hi Will!" said Gheed.  
"Ok bye Gheed!"  
"Bye Will!" Will walked away. He then congratulated himself on his master plan.  
"What master plan do you call that?" asked Kashya, "all you did was say hello and goodbye to him!"  
"Hey, can you read minds?" Will asked.  
"Nah, it's just that you have whatever you are thinking about written in a box above your head."  
"But, how come no one else has boxes above their heads when they think?" he asked.  
"Uhhhhh think?"  
"Ooooookayyyyyyyy..."  
  
Will then remembered he had left Ukudo on the ground. He then spread out his fingers and shocked Ukudo until he woke.  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Ukudo screamed.  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Will screamed.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ukudo screamed again.  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Will screamed again.  
"Ummmmm, I'm screaming because I'm in pain but why are you screaming?" Ukudo asked.  
"I dunno, it's just fun to do!"  
Ukudo fell over in shock even though he was already on the ground. This caused Ukudo to fall unconscious again.  
  
"..." said Kashya.  
"Huh?" said Will.  
"Hold on" she replied.  
"Ok" he said happily.  
Several hours later...  
"Ahhhhh yes... I remember now... My Rogue Scouts have reported an abomination in the Monastery Graveyard. Blood Raven is summoning our dead for her undead army you must help us to kill her!"  
"Uhh... Yeah ok, I'll do it," replied Will who was not really listening.  
"This is really important to me so, PAY ATTENTION OR ELSE!"  
"Eeep, ok ok, keep your shirt on, jeez." he said. "I'll just get Ukudo and we'll be on our way."  
  
Will fetched Ukudo who was not really happy about being knocked out twice by Will. Ukudo threatened Will with death about ten times which Will ignored.  
  
"I'll kill you and explode your corpse. I'll raise you and command you to kick your own ass. I'll... HEY! You're not listening!" he wined. "Common, listen to me! LISTEN TO MEEEEEE!!!" He starts to cry. "I want my mummy..." He said quietly.  
"What? Did you say something? I didn't hear you because I was testing out my new earplugs, they work like a charm. You can't hear a thing."  
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Ukudo screamed.  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Will screamed.  
"Oh boy, here we go again..." he sighed. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" he continued.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" cried Will.  
  
  
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I know, I know, a very short chapter. I had some free time and noticed that this story had gone off the front page. So I updated. Now review my small effort or else I'll... I'll... hold on a sec............... I dunno what I'll do but you won't like it! NOW REVIEW! By the way. RedLady and Chazbone I need your e-mail addresses. Either put them in the review or send em to: jon_knibby@hotmail.com THANKS! 


	6. Kill The Raven

Ok, now I don't know what to put here so ill just take a leaf from Hyper Guyvers stories. In your review put "Ding Dong My Brain is Gone!" if you have read this section.  
  
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The scene opens with Ukudo and Will still yelling as loud as they can...  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" cried Will  
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH..." *cough* *cough* .  
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha" he laughed childishly. You suck Ukudo, you couldn't beat a... I dunno what you couldn't beat buts it's pretty bad!  
"Why you little," he said "I'll get you!!!!"  
Ukudo starts chasing Will around the Rogue Encampment but can seem to catch him.  
"Ah ha ha ha ha ha!" he yelled excitedly "You can't catch me HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
"Damn lousy sonofabitch..." he mumbled to himself.  
  
Akara walked up to them.  
"Excuse me?" she said. Both Ukudo and Will grunt  
"Excuse me?" she repeated. Both Ukudo and Will grunt more loudly  
"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!" she yelled as loud as she can (which is pretty damn loud).  
"WHAT!?!?!?!" they both screamed.  
"Well," she calms down "aren't you supposed to be killing blood raven?"  
"Oh yeah..." they said in unison.  
"Your point being?" asked Will.  
"AAAAHHHHHHH THATS IT, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, GET YOUR UNGRATEFULL HIDES OUT THERE AND KILL BLOOD RAVEN BEFORE I DECIDE TO PUT AN ARROW THROUGH YOUR BALLS!!!"  
"Holy shit, lets the f - ing hell outta here!!!" yelled Ukudo  
  
The heroes got the f - ing hell outta there and got going on their quest to slay the evil Blood Raven and banish her soul to the depths of hell for all eternity...  
"Dude," Will started "you make it seem like we are going on some massive quest to slay Diablo right now..."  
"Shhhhh... Don't aggravate the author. He gets pretty mean when pissed off."  
"Eeep, sorry author." said Will quietly  
  
The heroes got to the Monastery graveyard and found that there were many zombies lurking about in the shadows.  
"Is it just me or is this place creepy?" asked Will  
"Nah mate, it's just you," replied Ukudo  
"Since when did you become an Australian?"  
"Oops sorry, I'll stop now," said Ukudo  
"Good, because that was just weird. Hey look, it's a skeleton lying on the ground. It looks like the sort we had in gym class!" he exclaimed  
"I'd be careful Will, it might be an undead skeleton."  
Will was ignoring him as usual and he had run over to the skeleton and picked up the skull and was using it like a puppet and moving its jaw.  
"Hello, I am mister skeleton, I would never hurt Will or his friends." said Will moving the skeletons jaw to make it look like it was talking. Ukudo began to laugh but suddenly the skeleton's eye sockets began to glow red.  
"Will, look out! The skeletons coming to life!!!" Ukudo warned him  
"Pfffft everyone knows that skeletons aren't alive. Just face it man, you are paranoid."  
"No, but you see..."  
"Shut up! I've just about had enough of your..."  
  
Suddenly the skeleton's body rose up and punched Will (it had no weapon). The punch caused Will to go flying through the air to land in the dirt some meters away.  
"Owwwww." he moaned "that isn't fair!"  
The skeleton gave Will the finger and reattached its head. Ukudo starts laughing at Will. The skeleton started to advance on Will in the boxing stance.  
"Ahhhhh, so you're a boxer are ya?" Will asked.  
The skeleton nodded its head.  
"Ok, Ukudo pass me two pairs of boxing gloves, on the double!" he said.  
Will put on one pair of gloves and gave the others to the skeleton who put them on. Suddenly out of nowhere a boxing ring appeared and Will and the skeleton found themselves inside it.  
  
Will raised his gloves in the defensive position and charged towards the skeleton. Will tried to uppercut the skeleton but it quickly dodged it and elbowed him in the head.  
"Owwwwww, jeez that hurt." he cried  
Will got up and started swinging his arms around in a propeller-like fashion.  
"Die skeleton DIE!!!!" he yelled. With summoning all his strength he ran at his opponent smashing it to bits with his wild swings.  
"Yaaaaay!" cried Ukudo.  
This victory made Will very cocky and so he decided to take on Blood Raven. The two heroes marched towards where Blood Raven stood.  
"Join my army of the dead," she cried.  
"OK!" cried Ukudo.  
Blood Raven sweat dropped as Ukudo walked up to her.  
"Ok, where do I sign?" he asked her.  
"Ukudo, NOOOOOOOOO DON'T DO IT!" Will yelled  
"But, but, I have always dreamed of joining the army!!!"  
"You can't join this one," said Will.  
"Why?"  
"Because."  
"Why?"  
"Because."  
This went of for a few hours and during this time Blood Raven got so bored that she actually died of boredom.  
"Hey cool, she died of boredom!" Will exclaimed  
"Awww darn, now I can't join the army." Ukudo said sadly  
"Will you quit with all this, 'I want to join the army' crap?"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
"NO"  
"YES"  
  
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And so ends another chapter in, MY LIFE STORY!!! BUM BUM BAAAAAAAAA!!! 


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